JOTW Horoscope May 2007
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JOTW Horoscope for communicators:
Blow Dry the Broadcaster (March 21 – April 19)
You begin to wonder, as the light and the end of the tunnel actually turns out to be a train coming towards you, what the hell you are actually doing in a tunnel.
Gratis the Community Relations Manager ((April 20 – May 20)
What a fortunate coincidence that the man you have moved in with under your assumed identity so as to keep from him the fact that you are married with two kids and a mortgage, is actually a psychologist who can testify at your trial that you are not in your right mind. That legal strategy will backfire on you and your attorney when he provides expert testimony quoting from an obsolete version of the DSM.
Backspace the Proofreader (May 21 – June 21)
They say curiosity killed the cat, but you know it was the fact that the cat puked on your suede jacket that signaled the end.
Barnum the Publicist (June 21 – July 22)
Nothing prepares you for success than previous failure. Maybe that’s why you feel so prepared.
Journalisticus the Editor (July 23 – Aug. 22)
You are renowned as a steadfast paramour of patience and virtue and an indfatiguab, er unfatigable, I mean indefet, oh just screw it.
Reporticus the Investor Relations Specialist (Aug 23 – Sept 22)
Life is a banquet, and you forgot your fork.
Advertarius the Account Executive (Sept 23 – Oct 23)
Your life will catch on like a wildfire, but that’s okay, because they say most arsonists want to be caught anyway.
Porous the Civil Servant Office manager (Oct. 24 – Nov. 21)
You think your new vanity plates are really cutesy, until you find out that it also means having relations with a pig in Bahasa Indonesian.
Strategarius the Consultant (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
You tell your girlfriend that you seek a relationship where she can be brutally honest with you. So she knees you in the groin.
Corpricon the Corporate Communicator (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
You will wear your innermost feelings all over your face.
Inferiorus the Marketing Communications Intern (Jan 20. – Feb 18)
Bad things happen in threes, or so they say. So explain why four bad things happened to you this week?
Pencilius the Graphic Designer (Feb. 19 – March 20)
You’ve never thought much about being unfaithful before, which explains the rather amateurish performance during that quickie in the parking lot outside the tavern last weekend.