After the dust has settled…

Questions asked the night before by Scout and Kali during the seventh game of the ALCS series are answered the next morning by Sage.

Scout: How come none of the Indians wear necklaces like the Red Sox do?

Sage (the next morning): Chief Wahoo says wearing a necklace would be a sign of disrespect.

Kali: Sage, can you play catch? You know, can you catch a tennis ball if your Master throws one at you?

Sage (the next morning): I like to play “Wake up Master at 4:30 a.m. and then force him to take me outside so I can stare at him with a dumb look on my face.”

Scout: Whatever happened to slippery elm and the good old spit ball?

Sage (the next morning): Cleveland fans, who enjoyed having Gaylord Perry pitch for the Indians, are not legally bound to answer this question. I plead the 5th.

Kali: Pedroia is just 5-8″.

Sage (the next morning): He’s still young. In another year or two he’ll be up to 5’9”.

Scout: Lugo was pretty coy about that bunt.

Sage (the next morning): There is no room for the word “coy” in baseball. If Lugo is going to be “coy,” he might as well just put on a dress with “Sunday” panties and bobby socks and giggle when Betancourt aims a 96-mph fastball at his head. Real men are not “coy.” They are “strategic.” But there’s nothing strategic about a bunt. It was an act of cowardice that should not have been rewarded.

Kali: Who will be the ALCS MVP?

Sage (the next morning): Frankly, I think the Cleveland pitching staff should be the MVP, for handing the series to the Red Sox. What a selfless gift.

1 Comment to "After the dust has settled…"

  1. Anonymous's Gravatar Anonymous
    October 24, 2007 - 1:57 am | Permalink

    I think your four-legged kiddos need to provide some commentary for the undefeated Indianapolis Colts!

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