Your JOTW Communicators Horoscope for October 2007
Blow Dry the Broadcaster (March 21 – April 19)
Remember that intern that you dressed down in front of everyone because he brought you a sandwich that had mayo on it instead of mustard? Well, he just posted a video of you picking your nose on YouTube.
Gratis the Community Relations Manager (April 20 – May 20)
Remember that consumer group that you described as “psycho thugs” in an email that you accidentally hit “send to all?” They’re in your lobby. All 400 of them.
Backspace the Proofreader (May 21 – June 20)
Remember how to spell the name of the president of Iran? I didn’t think so…
Barnum the Publicist (June 21 – July 22)
Remember when you told Britney Spears that it would be fine to lip-synch at the MTV Video Music Awards? Oops, you did it again…
Journalisticus the Editor (July 23 – Aug. 22)
Remember that lecture to your reporters about passive voice? Does the phrase “in one ear, out the other” mean anything to you?
Reporticus the Investor Relations Specialist (Aug 23 – Sept 22)
Remember when you laughed and said, “I’ll never need Ned’s JOTW?” BTW, there’s a six-month wait on the “one-paragraph pitch”…
Advertarius the Account Executive (Sept 23 – Oct 23)
Remember that report you promised to your client at 5:00 p.m. on Friday? Heh-heh-heh…you DON’T remember that report you promised to your client at 5:00 p.m. on Friday, do you? (Snort) We’re laughing with you, not at you.
Porous the Civil Servant Office manager (Oct. 24 – Nov. 21)
Remember your assistant—the one who never takes a vacation? She’s accumulated 2,452 hours of leave, which she’s planning to take, starting next Tuesday. Her last words to you were “I’ll see you in 2009.”
Strategarius the Consultant (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
Remember when your boss told you, “Always let the client win at golf?” You should have thought about that before you chipped in for an eagle on the 13th hole and did your “happy dance.”
Corpricon the Corporate Communicator (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
Remember that freelancer who you told, “1,000 words tops?” She just submitted a 19,000-word essay with a note that says, “I think it might need some editing.”
Inferiorus the Marketing Communications Intern (Jan 20. – Feb 18)
Remember when you promised yourself that as an intern you would never do anything beneath your dignity? Good. Now, shut up and replace the urinal cakes in the executive men’s room.
Pencilius the Graphic Designer (Feb. 19 – March 20)
Remember when your client said, “I promise I won’t make any changes after this?” Wasn’t that six months ago?