Ned: Mike, are you going to the IABC conference this year?
Mike: Why yes, Ned. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Okay, if I were offered the world, I might miss it. If I had a choice of going to the IABC Conference and, say, the Euro 2008 championships, I might opt for Switzerland.
Ned: Where is the IABC Conference this year?
Mike: Ned, it’s in a small-market hamlet this year, New Amsterdam. Peter Stuyvesant is Lord Mayor and Governor.
Ned: Isn't New York City supposed to be intimidating? Aren't you afraid?
Mike: Ned, I laugh at intimidation. The only thing I’m afraid of is a woman. Any woman.
Ned: What about New York do you like the best?
Mike: Kennedy Airport during a snowstorm. The folks there smile real sweetly when they tell you your flight’s been canceled and please come back in three days.
Ned: That’s the best?
Mike: Oh, you said LIKE…so much to like. Mama Leone’s restaurant on West 48th Street is great, I’ve been going there since my first high school drama club field trip in 1974.
Ned: See any good plays?
Mike: I saw Ulysses in Nighttown at the Winter Garden Theater. It starred Zero Mostel and a very young Tommy Lee Jones. And Fionnula Flanagan took off her clothes during “Molly’s Soliloquy.” She was the first naked woman I ever saw.
Ned: How old were you?
Ned: Will you go with me to the Yankee's souvinier store so I can buy a 2007 New York Yankees World Series Campionship shirt?
Mike: Ned, don’t be silly. The Yankees didn’t win the 2007 World Series. The Cleveland Indians did.