JOTW 12-2024 Add 1 Special March 32 edition for 2024


Boeing is pleased to announce that, effective immediately, passengers on its airplanes on all U.S. airlines will have the opportunity to earn steep discounts on emergency row seats, in exchange for agreeing to hold on to the door for the duration of the flight. Ideal candidates will have biceps like Popeye and be roughly the size of “The Mountain” from Game of Thrones. This promotion applies to all Boeing aircraft on domestic and foreign flights. See your carrier for more information.



JOTW 12-2024 Add 1

Special March 32 edition for 2024

The Free Job of the Week Newsletter

This is JOTW newsletter number 2,036A


“Before you share about what life has taught you, you should think about what a f*@ked-up life you’ve led.”

-Dale Carnegie


This edition of JOTW comes to you from Springfield, Virginia.


***  Welcome to the JOTW network!


You are one of more than 5,800+ members in the JOTW subscriber network.


This is the award-winning free Job of the Week e-mail networking newsletter for professional communicators, dedicated to the positive unanticipated consequences of networking, or as we call it, “nedworking.”  JOTW is a cooperative service.  That means JOTW relies on the contributions of its members, like you.  We share job opportunities, news and information about the job market, as well as swapping stories about life’s peculiarities.  We connect you with others who are like you, and together we help each other.  What a concept.  Did I mention it’s free?


***  To submit a job for sharing on JOTW, please provide the job title, organization or company, and location and send it to Ned at   Provide a link or contact info so people can check out your listing or follow up if interested.


***  Posting a job is free.    Recruiters can submit up to three jobs for free.  Each job listing may be posted once in the newsletter for free


I request that you do not send pdf files that I have to copy and reformat.  I prefer you provide your very brief job description in an email rather than an enclosure.  Please limit the size of your position descriptions (generally to 500 words or less).  “Can’t Wait” blast email priority listings are $300, and “Top Job” placement is $100.  Just send to me at


***  This is a cooperative service.  It relies on your participation and contribution.  As you receive the benefit of this free newsletter, you should also send in jobs you learn about.  This is especially the case when there are job listings in the companies that you work for.


***  To sign up for JOTW’s new Google Groups list, send an email to Ned at and request to join the JOTW listserv.  If you received this as an email from, then you are on this list.


***  This week’s Can’t Wait postings:


None this week


***  Can’t Wait jobs:  These jobs are forwarded to the entire list as soon as they are received, and do not wait for the Monday newsletter, and are posted prominently on the JOTW website.  Then they are posted first in the weekly JOTW newsletter.  Can’t Wait postings cost $300.  Contact Ned at


***  This week’s Top Job:


None this week.


Top Jobs:  Stand above the rest.  Your job can be right here, at the top of the weekly JOTW newsletter.  Top job placement costs $100 per job per week.  To be on top, contact Ned at


***  If you find out about a job opportunity in communications, send it to me (,   and I’ll share it with the JOTW network.


***  Here’s the link for the JOTW newsletter on the website:


JOTW 12-2024 Add 1 Special March 32 edition for 2024


***  One Paragraph Pitch:


Hello, my name is Bruce, and I collect pennies. I love all kinds of pennies, but in particular the “wheat” pennies from 1909-1958. I would love to talk to you more about pennies. Ned, are you SURE this is the right forum for this?


***  Send your One Paragraph Pitch submissions to   You can pitch yourself or your business any way you want, as long as it’s short and to the point.  You can include a photo, too! There is no waiting list.  Or, if there is, the queue is pretty short.  And it’s free!  Submit yours today!


***  Free defense industry jobs newsletter



DEFCON 1 – the Defense Career Opportunities Newsletter – is a weekly listing of all types of jobs in the defense-related industries.  Subscribe for free.  To sign up, send Ned an email to and tell him you want to get on the DEFCON 1 listserv.  (Note:  JOTW is a list of communication jobs in all industries.  DEFCON 1 is a list of all types of jobs in one industry.)


***  Ned’s upcoming travel, maybe, perhaps:


10-22 April                                          7-Eleven, Springfield


18-23 May                                           7-Eleven, Springfield


30 May-5 June                                  7-Eleven, Springfield



Applications are now being accepted for the Donald Trump Open, taking place at the Doral Country Club in Florida May 14-17. Your $200,000 entry fee covers all greens fees, refreshments, a generous donation to the DJT Legal Fund and a gala awards banquet honoring the anticipated tournament champion, Donald J. Trump. Please note that all entrants (except for Donald Trump) will be assigned a 30-stroke handicap, subject to adjustment. Entry Deadline Apr. 15. For more information, visit


***  Your Very Next Step!



The latest issue of Your Very Next Step newsletter is available online NOW!


Your Very Next Step newsletter for January / February 2024


By Ned Lundquist

This edition of YVNS comes to you from Springfield, Virginia.


Two dozen travel and adventure news, vacation ideas, tips and features.

11 cool volunteer and internship opportunities

14 travel/conservation/adventure jobs


Check it out, because your next adventure begins with your very next step.

“Your Very Next Step” adventure/outdoors/conservation newsletter, published by Ned Lundquist, is a cooperative community, and everyone is invited, no…encouraged, no…urged to participate.   Share your adventures with the network today!  Send to

To subscribe to YVNS for free: Join our Google Groups Listserv.  If you are already a Google Groups member, just sign up for the “Your Very Next Step” group.  Otherwise, send Ned an email and he’ll get you on the list.  Contact Ned at


Do you have any interesting travel and adventure stories, tips, suggestions, adventures or destinations to share?  Send to Ned at for the next issue of YVNS.


***  Here are your JOTW job opportunities for this week:




With two massive broods of cicadas set to emerge this spring, whose team are you on—Brood XIII or Brood XIX? Show your loyalty to your six-legged friends by serving as (unpaid) promotors of these respective broods. Coordinators will be responsible for organizing special events for their particular brood; media relations; opposition research; and grief counseling. Multiple positions available throughout the Midwest; short-term position (no more than four months). College degree (advanced degree preferred) and at least 10 years of communication experience required. Resume to


2.)  SHOW DEVELOPER, TLC, Bethesda, Md.


TLC (The Learning Channel), America’s premier purveyor of unbelievably trashy “reality” shows, has multiple openings for Show Developers for the following upcoming fall series…es:


—My Fabulous 600-Pound Labradoodle


—19 Kids; 19 Felonies and Counting


—Polyps On Parade


—Journey to the Edge of Flat Earth


—My Crazy Amish Mother-In-Law


—Florida Man: The Wal-Mart Challenge


—Homeowners Associations From HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL


As always, no prior experience necessary. Respond to


3.)  MEDIA COACH, Mike Lindell, Chanhassen, Minnesota


America’s premier purveyor of lumpy pillows and baseless conspiracy theories seeks experienced Media Coach to help our CEO navigate an increasingly fraught news environment. Ideal candidate will have decades of crisis media experience, infinite patience and utterly no sense of self-worth. This is a perfect position for someone at the end of their career. Please respond to


4.)  CAREER COUNSELOR, Aaron Rodgers Inc., New York, NY


Former Super Bowl MVP/NFL MVP seeks veteran Career Counselor to right the ship. Advice needed on vaccines, politics, women, media relations, Jimmy Kimmel and conspiracy theories, all with an eye on future job prospects. Please contact ARodgers@NYJets.NFL; confidential inquiries only.


5.)  PUBLICIST, Taylor Swift Inc., Nashville, Tenn.


Emerging musical artist/entertainer seeks Publicist to develop and implement strategies to increase visibility and viability. Successful strategies will result in increased name recognition; increased ticket sales for concerts; increased sales of records and streaming; favorable TV appearances; and romance. No previous experience necessary. Resume to


6.)  Director, Admissions Communications, John Wayne Gacey College of Criminal Psychology, Stateville Correctional Center, Crest Hill, IL


7.)  CRISIS MANAGER (U.S.), China “Weather” Balloons Inc., Beijing, PRC


World’s largest producer of “weather” balloon seeks Washington, D.C.-based Crisis Manager to offer facts and other explanations about our products as they cross into U.S. airspace. After all, they’re just “weather” balloons, and anyone who would suggest otherwise is clearly misinformed and is trying to damage U.S.-Chinese relations. We will provide training and supervision, as well as everything you need to say, when to say it and how to say it.


8.)  INTERN, National Association of Interns, Washington, D.C.


Trade association representing the nation’s interns seeks Intern to do intern stuff. Non-paid position, 7:30 a.m.-6:00 p.m. daily. We occasionally provide lunch. This will look great on your resume! Reply to


9.)  Publicist, Gumby-The Reboot, Fox Flexertainment, Century City, Calif.


10.)  PSYCHIC, Fox News, New York

Fox News (“We Report, You Laugh”) seeks new Psychic to replace previous Psychic who predicted a “bad year for Donald Trump” on “The Jesse Watters Show.” Ideal candidate will 1) Understand the assignment; 2) See the first item. Reply to


11.)  BABY BOOMER ADVISORS, The Marvel Universe, Hollywood, Calif.


Marvel Studios seeks knowledgeable Advisors to assist the aging U.S. Baby Boomer population in deciding how to begin watching the Marvel Universe. Candidates will assist Boomers in personal approaches to the MU (“do you want to watch them in chronological order?” “Just the movies, or are you open to the TV shows as well?”), including time management (“One per week?” “One per month?”) and avoiding confusion (“No, ‘Batman’ is part of DC Comics;” “Yes, technically Iron Man and Ant-Man know each other;” “No, ‘Star Wars’ happened way before the Marvel Universe existed.”). This is a high-stress position with starting pay of more than $250,000/year. Reply to


12.)  Director of Development, Hong Kong Phooey Institute of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, Voiceover City, California


***  Weekly Piracy Report:


029-56 32.3.2024 0130 UTC: Posit: 0035N -061:18E Roughly 500 miles east of Mogadishu, Somalia

A pirate “Mother Ship” approached a cargo container ship underway inquiring if it had seen any of its children, who were late for dinner. Container ship replied in the negative. Mother Ship thanked container ship and said it would keep looking.


029-57 32.3.2024 0455 UTC: Posit: 0035N -061:18E 15 miles off Southern Coast of Sri Lanka

A fishing vessel of Sri Lankan registry reported being approached by The Gorton’s of Gloucester Fisherman, asking if they wanted to buy some fish sticks. Captain of fishing vessel took evasive actions, including increasing speed, deploying hoses and securing stores. The Gorton’s of Gloucester Fisherman abandoned efforts and ended engagement. Fishing vessel continued to safe port; all crewmen reported safe.


029-58 32.3.2024 0720 UTC: Posit: 0035N -061:18E Denver, Colorado.

U.S. Navy reported no marine pirate activity in Colorado for the 143rd consecutive year.


029-59 32.3.2024 1420 UTC: Posit: 0035N -061:18E Port of Malaysia.

Container ship underway reported approach by a skiff occupied by five suspicious men and one duck. The men, who identified themselves as pirates, demanded permission to board. The captain asked, “Why a duck? Why a no chicken?” To which the pirates replied “All we know is that it’s a duck.” Unsatisfied with the answer, the captain refused permission for boarding. The pirates—and the duck—turned away with no further incident.


029-60 32.3.2024 1110 UTC: Posit: 0036N -041:18E Springfield Virginia

Someone stole stool samples from medical office consigned for colorectal screening.  Pirates will be in for a world of sh*t.


029-61 32.3.2024 1050 UTC: Posit: 30.15N 85.66W: Panama City, Florida

College students bathing suits were reported missing while swimming.  Alcohol suspected.  Authorities are investigating.


029-62 32.3.2024 0648 UTC: Posit: Various

Sun reported missing.


***  Ball Cap of the week:                            USS Albert DeSalvo (FFP 1)

***  Coffee mug of the week:                     Caution – Contents may be wet

***  Polo Shirt of the Week:                        The Federal Collection – By Martha Stewart

***  Musical guest artist of the week:     Willy Whistle


***  To subscribe:  Send an email to Ned at, and mention the JOTW newsletter.


Your cooperation is requested.  Please send job opportunities to share with all JOTW members to


You are welcome to distribute this to fellow communicators.  You are welcome to look at the previous issues.  To read this list on the web, please visit


This newsletter is published by:


Edward H. Lundquist, ABC, IABC Fellow

7813 Richfield Road

Springfield, VA 22153


+1 703 455-7661 (home office)

+1 703 472-8629 (cell)


The JOTW Network – A world in communication

For your hospitality, thank you!

© Copyright 2023 The Job of the Week Network, LLC


***  Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka’puana

(And So The Story Is Told)



The Communication Management Professional (CMP) and Strategic Communication Management Professional (SCMP) certifications will set you apart from the crowd and give you increased recognition and other benefits in the workforce.


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.